media matters

[Typical Lax Dad]

It does make you wonder how these people would feel if it was their daughter who came in second due to evolution and the physiologic advantage the first place winner had due to being born male.

Same as the one whose daughter was beaten by a woman who is taller, stronger, faster due to genetic advantages.

It's not "fair".

If the swimmer from Penn was coming in last, it wouldn’t be much of a story.

[tech37]

FTR, never said I agree or disagree with the NCAA's stand on this matter. All I said was "it's complicated".

Not to belabor this but you seem to suggest the NCAA's "stand" is somehow altruistic on this issue. Do they have any choice? Wouldn't the LGBTQ activists and their lawyers besiege them otherwise?

[tech37]

It does make you wonder how these people would feel if it was their daughter who came in second due to evolution and the physiologic advantage the first place winner had due to being born male.

Same as the one whose daughter was beaten by a woman who is taller, stronger, faster due to genetic advantages.

It's not "fair".

It's that damn science thing again MDlax. Millions of years of evolution showing how/why men and women are basically different. Follow the science dude.

[tech37]

It does make you wonder how these people would feel if it was their daughter who came in second due to evolution and the physiologic advantage the first place winner had due to being born male.

So no teachable moment? College Sports is 100% about w's and l's, with no other value added?

Since I'm not talking to a troll like Pete....I'll grant you that this is complicated, to say the least.

Pete doesn't care about fair. He cares about sticking it to people who aren't just like him.

Teachable moment? IMO, the moment shouldn't even exist. Not complicated at all.

Have a good friend who's son is now a third daughter. Trans is complicated, agreed. But trans and sports isn't or shouldn't be.

What I mean by "complicated", is that it would seem the NCAA and many of your fellow Americans disagree with your view.

And I'm sorry you don't see the teaching moment(s).

For example, did you ever have to prepare all year to play an opponent that you know you can't beat, no matter how hard you work? Probably, right? Did you give up, stop working hard, or not play the game?

There's about a million lessons here, and in all directions.....Imho. This isn't pro sports. The athletics are supposed to be a part of your education.

Not that it matters, but I'm sure many of my fellow Americans agree with my view too. For me it's certainly not anti-trans but is simply about fairness. Sorry to disappoint you but for me, this is an easy call. That rarely happens.

I believe it’s complicated by the fact that the swimmer swam competitively as a male. Had the swimmer not been very good, it would be less of an issue.

Adam Carolla (@adamcarolla) <a href="https://twitter.com/adamcarolla/status/ ... tfw">March 18, 2022

[Typical Lax Dad]

It does make you wonder how these people would feel if it was their daughter who came in second due to evolution and the physiologic advantage the first place winner had due to being born male.

So no teachable moment? College Sports is 100% about w's and l's, with no other value added?

Since I'm not talking to a troll like Pete....I'll grant you that this is complicated, to say the least.

Pete doesn't care about fair. He cares about sticking it to people who aren't just like him.

Teachable moment? IMO, the moment shouldn't even exist. Not complicated at all.

Have a good friend who's son is now a third daughter. Trans is complicated, agreed. But trans and sports isn't or shouldn't be.

What I mean by "complicated", is that it would seem the NCAA and many of your fellow Americans disagree with your view.

And I'm sorry you don't see the teaching moment(s).

For example, did you ever have to prepare all year to play an opponent that you know you can't beat, no matter how hard you work? Probably, right? Did you give up, stop working hard, or not play the game?

There's about a million lessons here, and in all directions.....Imho. This isn't pro sports. The athletics are supposed to be a part of your education.

Not that it matters, but I'm sure many of my fellow Americans agree with my view too. For me it's certainly not anti-trans but is simply about fairness. Sorry to disappoint you but for me, this is an easy call. That rarely happens.

I believe it’s complicated by the fact that the swimmer swam competitively as a male. Had the swimmer not been very good, it would be less of an issue.

Adam Carolla (@adamcarolla) <a href="https://twitter.com/adamcarolla/status/ ... tfw">March 18, 2022

I know. If Lia were losing races as a female, it wouldn’t be much of a story…… “Transgender athlete finished 6th in female competition” wouldn’t get as much attention. Have a good day. Hope to catch a good game today.

[MDlaxfan76]

It does make you wonder how these people would feel if it was their daughter who came in second due to evolution and the physiologic advantage the first place winner had due to being born male.

Same as the one whose daughter was beaten by a woman who is taller, stronger, faster due to genetic advantages.

It's not "fair".

Sure MDlax, whatever you say

It's how I would feel. Genetic differences are "not fair".
But I certainly wouldn't whine about it. That would be exactly the wrong life season for my kid.

[MDlaxfan76]

It does make you wonder how these people would feel if it was their daughter who came in second due to evolution and the physiologic advantage the first place winner had due to being born male.

Same as the one whose daughter was beaten by a woman who is taller, stronger, faster due to genetic advantages.

It's not "fair".

It's that damn science thing again MDlax. Millions of years of evolution showing how/why men and women are basically different. Follow the science dude.

Millions of years of evolution show that we're ALL different tech.
I wish I was bigger, faster, better looking...but I'm not.

[get it to x]

Thinking of changing my handle to "Get it to XX" so I can identify with my female side. After all, I've lied to myself about my good looks and intelligence forever. What's one more lie?

[seacoaster]

Thinking of changing my handle to "Get it to XX" so I can identify with my female side. After all, I've lied to myself about my good looks and intelligence forever. What's one more lie?

No offense, but this would be a good joke, if it was funny.

I assume you don't know and love a family whose lives -- you know, learning to read and write and think, learning the basic courtesies of life, carting the kids to youth sports, going to the beach, visiting friends and grandparents, etc., etc., etc. -- have been upended by a kid who determines, usually after years of uncertainty, brutalizing anxiety, and alienation from everyone they love, that s/he isn't a girl or a boy, as the case may be. It's a journey no one expects, probably no one wants, but it is thrust on regular people who either make the call to honor the path or break the bonds. It's not the fulcrum for a joke, "woke" or not, right or left.

On the sports issue that folks here have been talking about, I share every misgiving and doubt associated with trans athletes, who were born and grew up male, competing in women's sports. I get the associated unfairness. But the overall issue is too complicated to paint in black and white. Erica Sullivan apparently understands this, probably because she had the same sorts of worries and uncertainties before she came out. Criticism of the concept? OK? Mocking the people forced by something none or few of us understand to make the most dramatic decision and change conceivable? Just bullsh*t.

[a fan]

FTR, never said I agree or disagree with the NCAA's stand on this matter. All I said was "it's complicated".

Not to belabor this but you seem to suggest the NCAA's "stand" is somehow altruistic on this issue.

Where did I do that?

All I have said is that this is a complicated issue, there are teachable moments in this discussion, and that there is more to the mission of the NCAA than W's and L's. That's it.

I didn't say one way or the other if I agree with the NCAA's current view on the matter. I've also said....several times....that your view that this shouldn't be allowed because it isn't fair to the other competitors is a 100% valid and reasonable opinion.

Do they have any choice? Wouldn't the LGBTQ activists and their lawyers besiege them otherwise?

I have no idea.

[get it to x]

Thinking of changing my handle to "Get it to XX" so I can identify with my female side. After all, I've lied to myself about my good looks and intelligence forever. What's one more lie?

No offense, but this would be a good joke, if it was funny.

I assume you don't know and love a family whose lives -- you know, learning to read and write and think, learning the basic courtesies of life, carting the kids to youth sports, going to the beach, visiting friends and grandparents, etc., etc., etc. -- have been upended by a kid who determines, usually after years of uncertainty, brutalizing anxiety, and alienation from everyone they love, that s/he isn't a girl or a boy, as the case may be. It's a journey no one expects, probably no one wants, but it is thrust on regular people who either make the call to honor the path or break the bonds. It's not the fulcrum for a joke, "woke" or not, right or left.

On the sports issue that folks here have been talking about, I share every misgiving and doubt associated with trans athletes, who were born and grew up male, competing in women's sports. I get the associated unfairness. But the overall issue is too complicated to paint in black and white. Erica Sullivan apparently understands this, probably because she had the same sorts of worries and uncertainties before she came out. Criticism of the concept? OK? Mocking the people forced by something none or few of us understand to make the most dramatic decision and change conceivable? Just bullsh*t.

And maybe you don't know any girls who have trained for a sport they love, achieved a high level of success only to be told women have to take a back seat to someone who thinks they are a woman when they are not, and never will be. Not trying to be cruel. Affirming that their disphoria, which is what it is, is reality, is actually more cruel. And yes, one of my best friends sons identifies as a woman, as does on of my wife's friends ex husband. I call them what they want to be called, but I don't affirm their gender identity, because it is a lie. Would never mock or bully them. Nor love them any less.

[tech37]

FTR, never said I agree or disagree with the NCAA's stand on this matter. All I said was "it's complicated".

Not to belabor this but you seem to suggest the NCAA's "stand" is somehow altruistic on this issue.

Where did I do that?

All I have said is that this is a complicated issue, there are teachable moments in this discussion, and that there is more to the mission of the NCAA than W's and L's. That's it.

I didn't say one way or the other if I agree with the NCAA's current view on the matter. I've also said....several times....that your view that this shouldn't be allowed because it isn't fair to the other competitors is a 100% valid and reasonable opinion.

Do they have any choice? Wouldn't the LGBTQ activists and their lawyers besiege them otherwise?

I have no idea.

You're right, sorry about that. You mentioned NCAA "stand' and "teachable moments" and assumed you agreed with their POV.

[Essexfenwick]

NYT getting paranoid.

https://newsbusters.org/blogs/nb/pj-gla ... -strangers

Afraid “reporters” might accidentally get caught on camera telling true stuff.

I think everybody knows by now the NYT isn’t news but they are still acting like they are. That’s part of the white liberal diagnosed mental illness epidemic I told you about.

PSA

[MDlaxfan76]

Thinking of changing my handle to "Get it to XX" so I can identify with my female side. After all, I've lied to myself about my good looks and intelligence forever. What's one more lie?

No offense, but this would be a good joke, if it was funny.

I assume you don't know and love a family whose lives -- you know, learning to read and write and think, learning the basic courtesies of life, carting the kids to youth sports, going to the beach, visiting friends and grandparents, etc., etc., etc. -- have been upended by a kid who determines, usually after years of uncertainty, brutalizing anxiety, and alienation from everyone they love, that s/he isn't a girl or a boy, as the case may be. It's a journey no one expects, probably no one wants, but it is thrust on regular people who either make the call to honor the path or break the bonds. It's not the fulcrum for a joke, "woke" or not, right or left.

On the sports issue that folks here have been talking about, I share every misgiving and doubt associated with trans athletes, who were born and grew up male, competing in women's sports. I get the associated unfairness. But the overall issue is too complicated to paint in black and white. Erica Sullivan apparently understands this, probably because she had the same sorts of worries and uncertainties before she came out. Criticism of the concept? OK? Mocking the people forced by something none or few of us understand to make the most dramatic decision and change conceivable? Just bullsh*t.

And maybe you don't know any girls who have trained for a sport they love, achieved a high level of success only to be told women have to take a back seat to someone who thinks they are a woman when they are not, and never will be. Not trying to be cruel. Affirming that their disphoria, which is what it is, is reality, is actually more cruel. And yes, one of my best friends sons identifies as a woman, as does on of my wife's friends ex husband. I call them what they want to be called, but I don't affirm their gender identity, because it is a lie. Would never mock or bully them. Nor love them any less.

How do you not "affirm their identity, because it is a lie"???

And yet, you "call them what they want to be called"?

Do they know you consider their identity, "a lie" ?

If so, ever asked them how that makes them feel?

Or do you avoid each other?

[get it to x]

Thinking of changing my handle to "Get it to XX" so I can identify with my female side. After all, I've lied to myself about my good looks and intelligence forever. What's one more lie?

No offense, but this would be a good joke, if it was funny.

I assume you don't know and love a family whose lives -- you know, learning to read and write and think, learning the basic courtesies of life, carting the kids to youth sports, going to the beach, visiting friends and grandparents, etc., etc., etc. -- have been upended by a kid who determines, usually after years of uncertainty, brutalizing anxiety, and alienation from everyone they love, that s/he isn't a girl or a boy, as the case may be. It's a journey no one expects, probably no one wants, but it is thrust on regular people who either make the call to honor the path or break the bonds. It's not the fulcrum for a joke, "woke" or not, right or left.

On the sports issue that folks here have been talking about, I share every misgiving and doubt associated with trans athletes, who were born and grew up male, competing in women's sports. I get the associated unfairness. But the overall issue is too complicated to paint in black and white. Erica Sullivan apparently understands this, probably because she had the same sorts of worries and uncertainties before she came out. Criticism of the concept? OK? Mocking the people forced by something none or few of us understand to make the most dramatic decision and change conceivable? Just bullsh*t.

And maybe you don't know any girls who have trained for a sport they love, achieved a high level of success only to be told women have to take a back seat to someone who thinks they are a woman when they are not, and never will be. Not trying to be cruel. Affirming that their disphoria, which is what it is, is reality, is actually more cruel. And yes, one of my best friends sons identifies as a woman, as does on of my wife's friends ex husband. I call them what they want to be called, but I don't affirm their gender identity, because it is a lie. Would never mock or bully them. Nor love them any less.

How do you not "affirm their identity, because it is a lie"???

And yet, you "call them what they want to be called"?

Do they know you consider their identity, "a lie" ?

If so, ever asked them how that makes them feel?

Or do you avoid each other?

If your wife's name was Mary Smith and she told me she wanted to be called "Mrs. MDlaxfan76", that's what I would call her.

And to tell them I think they are living a lie would be cruel. Why would I do that?

You do know that the vast majority are no more happy after transition than before, and in some cases, regret they have had irreversible surgical procedures.

[seacoaster]

Thinking of changing my handle to "Get it to XX" so I can identify with my female side. After all, I've lied to myself about my good looks and intelligence forever. What's one more lie?

No offense, but this would be a good joke, if it was funny.

I assume you don't know and love a family whose lives -- you know, learning to read and write and think, learning the basic courtesies of life, carting the kids to youth sports, going to the beach, visiting friends and grandparents, etc., etc., etc. -- have been upended by a kid who determines, usually after years of uncertainty, brutalizing anxiety, and alienation from everyone they love, that s/he isn't a girl or a boy, as the case may be. It's a journey no one expects, probably no one wants, but it is thrust on regular people who either make the call to honor the path or break the bonds. It's not the fulcrum for a joke, "woke" or not, right or left.

On the sports issue that folks here have been talking about, I share every misgiving and doubt associated with trans athletes, who were born and grew up male, competing in women's sports. I get the associated unfairness. But the overall issue is too complicated to paint in black and white. Erica Sullivan apparently understands this, probably because she had the same sorts of worries and uncertainties before she came out. Criticism of the concept? OK? Mocking the people forced by something none or few of us understand to make the most dramatic decision and change conceivable? Just bullsh*t.

And maybe you don't know any girls who have trained for a sport they love, achieved a high level of success only to be told women have to take a back seat to someone who thinks they are a woman when they are not, and never will be. Not trying to be cruel. Affirming that their disphoria, which is what it is, is reality, is actually more cruel. And yes, one of my best friends sons identifies as a woman, as does on of my wife's friends ex husband. I call them what they want to be called, but I don't affirm their gender identity, because it is a lie. Would never mock or bully them. Nor love them any less.

Seems you missed the point. As I said above, I can understand and maybe even agree that it is "unfair" for a women who trained for a sport all her life to reach the pinnacle, only to lose to a trans-woman. As I said above, I completely get that. I coached women's lacrosse for a decade and know plenty of kids whose hard work I wouldn't want to see derailed or defeated this way.

It is the clumsy, cruel and stupid joke with which I took issue. You could try it out on, say, "one of [your] best friend's sons," or maybe even your best friend, and see what they see and how they feel. Or you could just admit that you tried to make a joke out of something not suitable for humor -- among adults anyway -- and it fell more than flat.

[get it to x]

Thinking of changing my handle to "Get it to XX" so I can identify with my female side. After all, I've lied to myself about my good looks and intelligence forever. What's one more lie?

No offense, but this would be a good joke, if it was funny.

I assume you don't know and love a family whose lives -- you know, learning to read and write and think, learning the basic courtesies of life, carting the kids to youth sports, going to the beach, visiting friends and grandparents, etc., etc., etc. -- have been upended by a kid who determines, usually after years of uncertainty, brutalizing anxiety, and alienation from everyone they love, that s/he isn't a girl or a boy, as the case may be. It's a journey no one expects, probably no one wants, but it is thrust on regular people who either make the call to honor the path or break the bonds. It's not the fulcrum for a joke, "woke" or not, right or left.

On the sports issue that folks here have been talking about, I share every misgiving and doubt associated with trans athletes, who were born and grew up male, competing in women's sports. I get the associated unfairness. But the overall issue is too complicated to paint in black and white. Erica Sullivan apparently understands this, probably because she had the same sorts of worries and uncertainties before she came out. Criticism of the concept? OK? Mocking the people forced by something none or few of us understand to make the most dramatic decision and change conceivable? Just bullsh*t.

And maybe you don't know any girls who have trained for a sport they love, achieved a high level of success only to be told women have to take a back seat to someone who thinks they are a woman when they are not, and never will be. Not trying to be cruel. Affirming that their disphoria, which is what it is, is reality, is actually more cruel. And yes, one of my best friends sons identifies as a woman, as does on of my wife's friends ex husband. I call them what they want to be called, but I don't affirm their gender identity, because it is a lie. Would never mock or bully them. Nor love them any less.

Seems you missed the point. As I said above, I can understand and maybe even agree that it is "unfair" for a women who trained for a sport all her life to reach the pinnacle, only to lose to a trans-woman. As I said above, I completely get that. I coached women's lacrosse for a decade and know plenty of kids whose hard work I wouldn't want to see derailed or defeated this way.

It is the clumsy, cruel and stupid joke with which I took issue. You could try it out on, say, "one of [your] best friend's sons," or maybe even your best friend, and see what they see and how they feel. Or you could just admit that you tried to make a joke out of something not suitable for humor -- among adults anyway -- and it fell more than flat.

Progressives have killed comedy. You see, if no offense was intended, no offense should be taken.

[seacoaster]

Thinking of changing my handle to "Get it to XX" so I can identify with my female side. After all, I've lied to myself about my good looks and intelligence forever. What's one more lie?

No offense, but this would be a good joke, if it was funny.

I assume you don't know and love a family whose lives -- you know, learning to read and write and think, learning the basic courtesies of life, carting the kids to youth sports, going to the beach, visiting friends and grandparents, etc., etc., etc. -- have been upended by a kid who determines, usually after years of uncertainty, brutalizing anxiety, and alienation from everyone they love, that s/he isn't a girl or a boy, as the case may be. It's a journey no one expects, probably no one wants, but it is thrust on regular people who either make the call to honor the path or break the bonds. It's not the fulcrum for a joke, "woke" or not, right or left.

On the sports issue that folks here have been talking about, I share every misgiving and doubt associated with trans athletes, who were born and grew up male, competing in women's sports. I get the associated unfairness. But the overall issue is too complicated to paint in black and white. Erica Sullivan apparently understands this, probably because she had the same sorts of worries and uncertainties before she came out. Criticism of the concept? OK? Mocking the people forced by something none or few of us understand to make the most dramatic decision and change conceivable? Just bullsh*t.

And maybe you don't know any girls who have trained for a sport they love, achieved a high level of success only to be told women have to take a back seat to someone who thinks they are a woman when they are not, and never will be. Not trying to be cruel. Affirming that their disphoria, which is what it is, is reality, is actually more cruel. And yes, one of my best friends sons identifies as a woman, as does on of my wife's friends ex husband. I call them what they want to be called, but I don't affirm their gender identity, because it is a lie. Would never mock or bully them. Nor love them any less.

Seems you missed the point. As I said above, I can understand and maybe even agree that it is "unfair" for a women who trained for a sport all her life to reach the pinnacle, only to lose to a trans-woman. As I said above, I completely get that. I coached women's lacrosse for a decade and know plenty of kids whose hard work I wouldn't want to see derailed or defeated this way.

It is the clumsy, cruel and stupid joke with which I took issue. You could try it out on, say, "one of [your] best friend's sons," or maybe even your best friend, and see what they see and how they feel. Or you could just admit that you tried to make a joke out of something not suitable for humor -- among adults anyway -- and it fell more than flat.

Progressives have killed comedy. You see, if no offense was intended, no offense should be taken.

Tells the reader all they need to know. Comedy at the expense of the vulnerable, the "other." But you're not cruel. You know a guy who has a kid... Sure sport.

[cradleandshoot]

to

Thinking of changing my handle to "Get it to XX" so I can identify with my female side. After all, I've lied to myself about my good looks and intelligence forever. What's one more lie?

No offense, but this would be a good joke, if it was funny.

I assume you don't know and love a family whose lives -- you know, learning to read and write and think, learning the basic courtesies of life, carting the kids to youth sports, going to the beach, visiting friends and grandparents, etc., etc., etc. -- have been upended by a kid who determines, usually after years of uncertainty, brutalizing anxiety, and alienation from everyone they love, that s/he isn't a girl or a boy, as the case may be. It's a journey no one expects, probably no one wants, but it is thrust on regular people who either make the call to honor the path or break the bonds. It's not the fulcrum for a joke, "woke" or not, right or left.

On the sports issue that folks here have been talking about, I share every misgiving and doubt associated with trans athletes, who were born and grew up male, competing in women's sports. I get the associated unfairness. But the overall issue is too complicated to paint in black and white. Erica Sullivan apparently understands this, probably because she had the same sorts of worries and uncertainties before she came out. Criticism of the concept? OK? Mocking the people forced by something none or few of us understand to make the most dramatic decision and change conceivable? Just bullsh*t.

And maybe you don't know any girls who have trained for a sport they love, achieved a high level of success only to be told women have to take a back seat to someone who thinks they are a woman when they are not, and never will be. Not trying to be cruel. Affirming that their disphoria, which is what it is, is reality, is actually more cruel. And yes, one of my best friends sons identifies as a woman, as does on of my wife's friends ex husband. I call them what they want to be called, but I don't affirm their gender identity, because it is a lie. Would never mock or bully them. Nor love them any less.

Seems you missed the point. As I said above, I can understand and maybe even agree that it is "unfair" for a women who trained for a sport all her life to reach the pinnacle, only to lose to a trans-woman. As I said above, I completely get that. I coached women's lacrosse for a decade and know plenty of kids whose hard work I wouldn't want to see derailed or defeated this way.

It is the clumsy, cruel and stupid joke with which I took issue. You could try it out on, say, "one of [your] best friend's sons," or maybe even your best friend, and see what they see and how they feel. Or you could just admit that you tried to make a joke out of something not suitable for humor -- among adults anyway -- and it fell more than flat.

Progressives have killed comedy. You see, if no offense was intended, no offense should be taken.

+1 there are folks on this forum who make a living being offended by everything. The only 2 exceptions are trump and the Catholic church. Hell when Kathy Griffin posed with that decapitated trump head that was comedy at it's finest.

[MDlaxfan76]

Thinking of changing my handle to "Get it to XX" so I can identify with my female side. After all, I've lied to myself about my good looks and intelligence forever. What's one more lie?

No offense, but this would be a good joke, if it was funny.

I assume you don't know and love a family whose lives -- you know, learning to read and write and think, learning the basic courtesies of life, carting the kids to youth sports, going to the beach, visiting friends and grandparents, etc., etc., etc. -- have been upended by a kid who determines, usually after years of uncertainty, brutalizing anxiety, and alienation from everyone they love, that s/he isn't a girl or a boy, as the case may be. It's a journey no one expects, probably no one wants, but it is thrust on regular people who either make the call to honor the path or break the bonds. It's not the fulcrum for a joke, "woke" or not, right or left.

On the sports issue that folks here have been talking about, I share every misgiving and doubt associated with trans athletes, who were born and grew up male, competing in women's sports. I get the associated unfairness. But the overall issue is too complicated to paint in black and white. Erica Sullivan apparently understands this, probably because she had the same sorts of worries and uncertainties before she came out. Criticism of the concept? OK? Mocking the people forced by something none or few of us understand to make the most dramatic decision and change conceivable? Just bullsh*t.

And maybe you don't know any girls who have trained for a sport they love, achieved a high level of success only to be told women have to take a back seat to someone who thinks they are a woman when they are not, and never will be. Not trying to be cruel. Affirming that their disphoria, which is what it is, is reality, is actually more cruel. And yes, one of my best friends sons identifies as a woman, as does on of my wife's friends ex husband. I call them what they want to be called, but I don't affirm their gender identity, because it is a lie. Would never mock or bully them. Nor love them any less.

How do you not "affirm their identity, because it is a lie"???

And yet, you "call them what they want to be called"?

Do they know you consider their identity, "a lie" ?

If so, ever asked them how that makes them feel?

Or do you avoid each other?

If your wife's name was Mary Smith and she told me she wanted to be called "Mrs. MDlaxfan76", that's what I would call her.

And to tell them I think they are living a lie would be cruel. Why would I do that?

You do know that the vast majority are no more happy after transition than before, and in some cases, regret they have had irreversible surgical procedures.

vast majority???
Nope. But society does make it really, really hard.

Okay, so how do you avoid not telling her what you think is a lie, without affirming her gender identity using whatever pronoun she wants?