Sports Specialization

[Matnum PI]

Football (tight end), basketball (forward/guard), lacrosse (LSM). Never good enough to get exposure but whole school/county knew he was amazing. No offers, now playing club sports at VT. He is very happy but we all think should of, would of, could of,...

Maybe this is part of the problem. our pull towards being "the best". as opposed to our kids just being happy, living, so to speak, their lives. similar, but not the same, a kid could've been a doctor but he loves teaching or whatever. for many people, certainly, many parents, this is a tough pill to swallow. But you could've been a doctor! and... i've struggled with this mindset over decades and i've come to believe that it's a dysfunctional mindset. an elitist perspective that isn't grounded in truth.

[Farfromgeneva]

Football (tight end), basketball (forward/guard), lacrosse (LSM). Never good enough to get exposure but whole school/county knew he was amazing. No offers, now playing club sports at VT. He is very happy but we all think should of, would of, could of,...

Maybe this is part of the problem. our pull towards being "the best". as opposed to our kids just being happy, living, so to speak, their lives. similar, but not the same, a kid could've been a doctor but he loves teaching or whatever. for many people, certainly, many parents, this is a tough pill to swallow. But you could've been a doctor! and... i've struggled with this mindset over decades and i've come to believe that it's a dysfunctional mindset. an elitist perspective that isn't grounded in truth.

Colleges have perpetuated this over the past two decades (not ironically during the explosion in COA via govt subsidized loans) by focusing on EKG type spikes rather than the older concept of a Renaissance person across all non academic activities such as theater or music-not just sports. At some point in like the 90s or early 2000s we collectively decided specialization was better than metaphysics. I don’t think colleges have required a “western civ” type course in FR year in 25yrs.

[Matnum PI]

Colleges have perpetuated this over the past two decades... I don’t think colleges have required a “western civ” type course in FR year in 25yrs.

Agreed. Some of the people were speaking of are renaissance type folk but i think there's something deeper going on as well. the #1 deathbed regret is "I didn't live my life". They lived their life for their father, mother, siblings, friends, wife, kids, the masses, etc. But they didn't live their life. (for the record, #2, #4, #5 and more are arguably the same regret.) and i'm not just talking about the gay guy who spent his lifetime in the closet. i'm talking about all guys, all gals, who spent their lives in metaphorical closets. society and the people around us force specific values and objective truths (that aren't actually objective truths) onto us and, in *huge* numbers, we believe them. and, i'd argue, being a D1 lacrosse player is one of them. pursue your bliss. whatever that bliss is. even if it doesn't give you as much money and societal respect as other blisses. no one wins in life. but, for some, for many, there is very much a belief that there are winners and losers and, so to speak, society, depending on what society you live within, is keeping score.

[Farfromgeneva]

Colleges have perpetuated this over the past two decades... I don’t think colleges have required a “western civ” type course in FR year in 25yrs.

Agreed. Some of the people were speaking of are renaissance type folk but i think there's something deeper going on as well. the #1 deathbed regret is "I didn't live my life". They lived their life for their father, mother, siblings, friends, wife, kids, the masses, etc. But they didn't live their life. (for the record, #2, #4, #5 and more are arguably the same regret.) and i'm not just talking about the gay guy who spent his lifetime in the closet. i'm talking about all guys, all gals, who spent their lives in metaphorical closets. society and the people around us force specific values and objective truths (that aren't actually objective truths) onto us and, in *huge* numbers, we believe them. and, i'd argue, being a D1 lacrosse player is one of them. pursue your bliss. whatever that bliss is. even if it doesn't give you as much money and societal respect as other blisses. no one wins in life. but, for some, for many, there is very much a belief that there are winners and losers and, so to speak, society, depending on what society you live within, is keeping score.

Well said and something I’m greatly struggling with in my early 40s. Recall a couple of years back seeing my nephew graduate from Linfield College in OR. Great kid but no motor and limited world experience. I realized that he’s happy, self sustaining and stable in his life as is his Sr in college at Lewis & Clark sister both of whom grew up pretty broke in SF and then (mostly) Oakland. Helped me understand a little about what it is to be a kid which I didn’t have the luxury of thinking about growing up in my own not so pleasant environment (my sister describes it as “you were terrorized as a child” though I think the color of that language belies her 30yrs in the Bay Area a little) and I think is helping me with mine a little. My son turned 9 today. He’s brilliant but it’s an EQ I don’t have today. Forget the 7th grade reading level and Gate program etc while starting 3rd grade. He understands things like: “we learn more from failure than from success”, “if you’re getting dirty you’re likely either having fun or doing something worthwhile”, understands concepts like resiliency and (thankfully) that I’ll always unconditionally and to my death support and love him no matter what he does or who he becomes in life (have a sneaking suspicion he may be gay too but that may be the period where girls have cooties and stuff before he suddenly is embarrassed to wake up to wet sheets in a couple of years while dreaming about that substitute teacher that was in 6th grade a few weeks back).

[Matnum PI]

A bit of an aside but... FarFrom's signature:

[Matnum PI]

A bit of an aside but Matnum's avatar...

[Farfromgeneva]

A bit of an aside but... FarFrom's signature:

Just revisited the movie recently and forgot how many classic lines there were in it.

[Matnum PI]

Well said and something I’m greatly struggling with in my early 40s... dreaming about that substitute teacher that was in 6th grade a few weeks back.

And back to the topic at hand. starting a couple of decades ago, i had someone in my life who was like a (grand)father to me. he died about 7-8 years ago. super talented guy, super kind man, just... just really a special person. and, from the day i met him, it always bothered me that he didn't "accomplish more". within his field, he was universally recognized as top of the heap and, still, he chose to do the work he did. which was not as glamorous as what he could've been doing. this doesn't really capture this but... it was a situation similar to the Robin Williams character in Good Will Hunting. Similar, but not the same. Robin Williams was actually traumatized and quite possibly hiding, under-performing. for this friend, he was doing great, he was having a profound effect on so many people's lives (including my own). but... he could've been...! I once had a friend refer to him as super-impressive etc. but, "he's a nobody". I wrestled with this for many years including after his passing and, today, I'm OK with this. To many people, i'd argue the majority of people, see people as nobodies. But this doesn't make this true. and this certainly was not the perspective for me. the world is full of lies. and how we're judged, how we're evaluated is one of the measuring sticks that lies enormously. for the record, I'm not talking about being a "good guy". I'm talking about being a great english teacher or any other number of lower paying jobs and being seen as less than others who have higher paying jobs. Making $, scoring goals, etc., unto themselves, are meaningless.

[Farfromgeneva]

Well said and something I’m greatly struggling with in my early 40s... dreaming about that substitute teacher that was in 6th grade a few weeks back.

And back to the topic at hand. starting a couple of decades ago, i had someone in my life who was like a (grand)father to me. he died about 7-8 years ago. super talented guy, super kind man, just... just really a special person. and, from the day i met him, it always bothered me that he didn't "accomplish more". within his field, he was universally recognized as top of the heap and, still, he chose to do the work he did. which was not as glamorous as what he could've been doing. this doesn't really capture this but... it was a situation similar to the Robin Williams character in Good Will Hunting. Similar, but not the same. Robin Williams was actually traumatized and quite possibly hiding, under-performing. for this friend, he was doing great, he was having a profound effect on so many people's lives (including my own). but... he could've been...! I once had a friend refer to him as super-impressive etc. but, "he's a nobody". I wrestled with this for many years including after his passing and, today, I'm OK with this. To many people, i'd argue the majority of people, see people as nobodies. But this doesn't make this true. and this certainly was not the perspective for me. the world is full of lies. and how we're judged, how we're evaluated is one of the measuring sticks that lies enormously.

These conversations may begin to change the trajectory of future generations. Hopefully for the better.

[Matnum PI]

These conversations may begin to change the trajectory of future generations. Hopefully for the better.

as you've already spoken to, future generations seem to know better. until their faced with the tough decisions. But I could be a doctor! but I could play D1! But I could... I think this is just a universal truth. especially in america. capitalism feeds this mindset. Survival of the fittest, Go for the Gold because Silver is just 1st place of the losers, etc. and, so I'm not straying too much from the topic at hand, I think this is a big part of the reason why we have sports specialization.

[cbrass]

Growing up in an era where I was expected to ride my bike to and from practice it truly made it my experience. If I did not have the opportunity to play for a team based in my community, made up of members of my community, supported by a business in my community I may not of been able to participate. I learned as much about decision making riding to practice as I did playing the sport.

Many children today never get time alone or the opportunity to be independent doing the very things that helped us all become fully functioning members of society.

I have friendships built from my childhood, my work life, my community which included a bunch of guys who loved lacrosse and got the county to open up a gym for some indoor ball on Wednesday nights. This led to playing summer league with them and then Friday night masters. We shopped, worshiped, paid taxes and supported our community. We also supported each other whether in uniform or not because we had bonds beyond wins and losses.

Paying thousands of dollars, driving hours on end and subjecting your child to the scrutiny of others at a young age so they will get that scholarship offer is narrowing their breadth of experiences growing up.

US Lacrosse had survey results from an outside source in their publication a few issues back. The survey, not commissioned by them, showed the rate children drop/quit playing sports. The two sports that had the highest rate of stress reported by the kids were lacrosse and field hockey.

USA Lacrosse needs to get with the IMLCA and help them get the NCAA to narrow the window for recruiting tournaments like the women’s game has done. Those two days between Friday and Monday should be for family and include time for kids to be kids. Before you know it those kids will start to experience fun again.

It is ironic that the Creator’s game is used to break the spirit of so many who want to try and play it.

[Farfromgeneva]

On the topic of the creators game for anyone in upstate NY near enough to Broome Co and care about the sport not just their Alma mater elevating them through their success in the moments.

CALENDAR

September 25, 2021 12-5PM
Coming Together: Annual Haudenosaunee Festival
The United States relationship to Haudenosaunee People and their Democratic Practices.
The Vestal Museum is proud to announce our 5th Annual Haudenosaunee Festival and Exhibition – COMING TOGETHER: The United States relationship to Haudenosaunee People and their Democratic Practices. Join us Saturday, September 25, 2021 on the Rail Trail in Vestal, NY from 12PM-5PM for our celebration of Haudenosaunee culture.
Featuring…
Keynote speakers:
1PM | Alf Jacques: Traditional Lacrosse Stick Maker for the Onondaga Nation
2PM | Dr. Sally Roesch Wagner: Author, lecturer & activist
3PM | Tony Gonyea: Traditional Wampum Belt Maker
4PM | Angela Ferguson: Traditional Corn Grower for the Onondaga Nation
…
and traditional Haudenosaunee cuisine, artists and music along the Rail Trail.
Art exhibition featuring objects on loan from the NY State Museum will run September 17 through November 20, 2021 at the Coal House.
The Haudenosaunee Festival 2021 was made possible with help from Visions Federal Credit Union, The Community Foundation for South Central New York, the Broome County Arts Council, the Vestal Historical Society, all featured Indigenous artists & community members, and the Town of Vestal.

[Matnum PI]

It is ironic that the Creator’s game is used to break the spirit of so many who want to try and play it.

I think for many, that is exactly what sports are used for. To teach young men (and women, but especially men) the importance of winning. The importance of being the best. we like to see the Creator's Game as war (which would bring the importance of winning and being the best to an even higher level) but I do not believe that this is the actual perspective of the Creator's Game, in theory or in practice. We play the game to make the Creator happy to, so to speak, make him smile. This has little to nothing to do with winning. It does have to do with playing hard, playing smart, creativity, players having fun, etc. I believe...