njbill wrote: ↑Wed Jun 23, 2021 6:59 pm
After having given this some thought for the better part of a week, I’ve decided to no longer participate on FanLax. This is my last post. Admin, delete my user account.
I don’t like personal attacks, but have always fought my own battles. As I’ve said, I’ve never reported a post in almost 20 years at LaxPower and now FanLax. I don’t think it’s good manners to do so. That’s not how I was raised, to use a phrase that’s become popular of late. If you have a problem, deal with it and resolve it yourself.
I suffered through a week of abuse without taking the bait, though I did tell the poster after his first “creepy” comment that I thought he was crossing a line. After that week, I posted that I had no interest in discussing anything with a stranger who called me “creepy.” I said I had never reported a post, but was tempted to do so in this instance. Those posts were my way of requesting the poster to back off and alerting admin that he needed to get control of things.
Admin did nothing. The poster did not back off, but within the hour after my second one continued the attacks (“hater,” “cowardly,” “vendetta,” “personal animosity.”). A couple of hours later, more abuse. Admin still did nothing.
The poster went relatively quiet for a period, but picked up his blowtorch again, two weeks later. At that point, I’d had enough and, yes, lost my cool. I wrote the “unhealthy infatuation” post. No response from admin to this post.
Some minutes later I posted that I minded creepy, ad hominem attacks (my third such message in this vein). To which admin responded: “agreed. Let’s be mindful of personal attacks.” Admin considers that to be a warning to me, as do some other posters. Hard to understand why a (legitimate) complaint about personal attacks can or should serve as the basis for a warning to me.
Some posters have referenced my “unhealthy infatuation” post. But that post was not admin’s basis for the warning or the subsequent suspension. Had that been the case, you’d have gotten no argument from me about a warning or suspension. I’d have taken my medicine. But, again and importantly, that isn’t what happened here. If admin considered that post to be the basis for the warning, he should have said so or quoted it, instead of quoting a different post which (reasonably) created the impression that that was the post necessitating the warning in his view.
So, OK, let’s say that was a legitimate warning directed at me. You then get to the next issue, which is whether the post I was suspended for warranted a suspension. I wrote to Larry: “you are wasting your time on this can opener. He thinks Charlotte North is the best player of all time, and no one can tell him otherwise.”
Does that mild post warrant a suspension, whether or not there had been a prior warning? No. Not in a million years in my view. I, myself, have probably written scores of posts worse than that. On FanLax, you could find 1000s.
While I don’t like the personal attacks, that’s not why I am leaving. I’ve leaving because of admin’s handling of this. His inconsistent moderation in my case and others is unprincipled, unfair, and just plain wrong. He suspends me for a benign post (I challenge anyone to find a milder post that has been the subject of a FanLax suspension), yet Can Opener goes unpunished. Admin says a poster must keep his side of the street clean in order to be entitled to administrative relief. Can Opener kept his side of the road clean? Huh? Beyond absurd.
But the piece de resistance? Citing Cletus – CLETUS? – as the spokesperson for proper forum decorum. That was just beyond the pale.
People are getting flagged for the most ridiculous things. 8meterPA gets penalized for commenting on the women’s forum troll when the troll, himself, acknowledges he’s a troll and says he revels in his troll-ish behavior. How ludicrous is that? Another poster who has commented in this thread has repeatedly called someone a troll elsewhere on FanLax, yet he has never been sanctioned. (Not saying he should; just pointing out the inconsistency.)
I see that Cletus has now resumed his trolling (among other things accusing posters of “intimidating” others). 8meterPA, DMac, and seacoaster have properly called him out. Admin has done nothing about Cletus' continued trolling.
DMac (rightly) calls out Cletus for saying posters “can go pound sand.” What happens? DMac gets sent to the pen. Cletus goes unpunished.
A couple of posters have complained privately to me about Cletus. I said that for some reason, he didn’t bother me. But they were right and, boy, was I wrong. He’s become the scourge of the women’s board, arguably a cancer. He says the site should have “zero tolerance.” Huh? Cletus wants zero tolerance? Aside from the fact that when FanLax was started, they said the rules would be looser than LaxPower’s – and certainly not “zero tolerance” – how many of his posts would be whacked under such a rule?
It’s a strange world when 8meterPA, DMac, and I get suspended and Can Opener and Cletus do not. Again, gross inconsistencies. At least CO fessed up to having reported my posts. Cletus (the other person who obviously did so), are you going to do the same?
A few days ago Mr. Zero Tolerance called me a bully and an intimidator, referencing Hitler and the Nazis. He said he was referring to the “larger issue of bullying and intimidation and insults on these boards, not just what went on between CO and Jersey.” Not just. Well, not just means “including.” Nor did he add the usual disclaimer – if that is what he meant – that his comments did not apply to me. So they did. At least that’s how I read them. Has admin taken any action? No. That Cletus later deleted those comments is pretty compelling evidence he knew they were inappropriate.
DMac is right. Cletus is admin’s fair-haired boy. And to repeat – and this one boggles my mind more than anything else in this whole mess – admin calls Cletus’ view on proper forum etiquette “spot on.” Sir, you are woefully out of touch with the women’s board. If you are going to continue to moderate here, I suggest you take some time to familiarize yourself with the posts and posters. Or find someone who has the temperament and judgment to do the job properly and even handedly.
This site is supposed to be fun. It is no longer fun for me. It has become aggravating and a drag. Admin says: “Our goal is to make this party enjoyable for everyone.” How ironic. It certainly is no longer enjoyable for me. So I am out of here. I just can’t fight City Hall, that is, an admin who metes out inconsistent punishments while at the same time allowing his “favorites” to write whatever they want. I can’t and won’t abide such a system.
To those who supported me (on this site and off-line) while I was in the sin bin and afterwards, thank you. Very much appreciated. Very, very much. I owe you a beer or 12. To my many forum friends and acquaintances whom I’ve come to know over the years (“some are dead and some are living”), thanks for the dialogue. It has been entertaining, informative, educational, and a real pleasure. Fortunately, I know some of you in real life (wish it were more) so I hope I’ll be seeing you on the lacrosse fields. Happy trails.